Photography Soup (April 1st edition)

Welcome to a very jam-packed edition of the Photography Soup for today, Wednesday April 1st, 2009! We have lots of stuff to get to, so let's get started!

Introducing the Noisy Forums
Yes, there are hundreds of photography forums out there, but the problem is, they let everyone in. Which is where our brand new forums come in. We won't let everyone in. Instead, anyone wishing to register for our forums will have to take a 15-minute test, testing your knowledge of cameras and photography. The questions will be such that one cannot quickly find the answers with a Google search or looking it up in a textbook.

Depending on how well individuals score on the test, they will be given restricted access to one of the following forums:
+ Beginners Forum (scores of 50 to 70)
+ Amateurs Forum (scores of 70 to 85)
+ Professionals Forum (scores of 85 or higher)

Anyone scoring under 50% will be denied access to our new forums. All decisions are final. Each person is allowed to retake the test once every six months. The questions and format of the exam will change to prevent cheating.

Picture of Ansel Adams in Yosemite with marjuana paraphenalia surfaces!
This was a very shocking revelation! A British tabloid was able to procure an exclusive picture of Ansel Adams, in Yosemite, holding what appears to be marjuana paraphenalia. This came as a big shock to the world of photography!

Three different publishers of his calendars decided to stop publication and withhold further shipments after this shocking revelation! The National Association of Professional Photographers held an emergency meeting and decided to remove Ansel Adams references from their books, records, websites and other printed material.

Leaders of 2,534 religious organizations world-wide issued a memorandum to all their parishes to start a witch hunt and remove all Ansel Adams posters and calendars from the parishioners walls. Any parishioner refusing to remove the posters would be removed from the church effective immediately!

Meanwhile, a library in Alabama decided to create a giant bonfire and burn all of Ansel Adams books and posters. Requests by local environmentalists to shred the books instead were denied.

This is a breaking news story, we'll have more details later today!

Introducing a new Dating Service for Photographers
Another project we have been working on in the background is a brand new dating service for photographers. We have been running some extensive research on the dating and personality patterns of photographers, which we will use e-harmonie style. We will have more details when the service launches, but for now, here are some of our findings on the personalities of the various brand owners:
+ Most likely to attend a "wine and cheese" event: Nikon users
+ Most likely to have a hole in their shoes: Pentax users
+ Most likely to have a dozen gadgets in their bag/briefcase: Canon users
+ Most likely to be psychotic: Olympus users
+ Most likely to be hopeless romantics: Fuji users
+ Most likely to be unhappy with the mainstream: Sigma/Foveon users
+ Most likely to be ....: Leica users

Nikon and Ashton Kutcher partner for "Advanced RAW development" seminars
You may know Ashton Kutcher from Punk'd or the 70s Show or other comedies, and of course from the Nikon TV ads, but actually he is not just another hare-brained celebrity, he is a very advanced photographer. Whenever he has some spare time, he spends countless hours on his computers working with RAW files and making the most out of them and producing some amazing results.

So it is no surprise that Nikon has announced a limited, 12-city workshop series of full-day tutorials, taught by Ashton Kutcher himself and sponsored by Nikon. He will be teaching advanced RAW development techniques, and because these are advanced topics, only professional photographers will be allowed to register. This is done partially to prevent the "fans" and "groupies" from registering. Seating is very limited.

Kutcher is no stranger to technology, his Twitter account has over 600,000 followers.

Launching new Photography Institute and School of Fine Arts blog
When you look around the internets, you will find two types of websites that teach photography: Expensive programs that require significant amounts of money, or free content that is just not comprehensive enough and often times it is so wishy-washy that it feels like it was written by a high-school student who failed most of his classes.

Which is where our new Institute of Photography and Fine Arts blog comes in. We will provide extensive tutorials and education, covering every single aspect of photography, from how to put on the lens cap properly (very important!), to writing your own Photoshop-alternative software package that works the way you want it, instead of the other way around.

Our photography school will be completely free to attend for everyone interested, and it will have over 700 comprehensive lessons, organized in different segments and subjects. This will not be just for beginners and amateurs, but also for professional photographers as we will be covering some very advanced techniques and methodologies. All FREE!

This will be the only photography resource you will ever need!